Sending your child off to kindergarten can be daunting. It might be the first time they are away from home for an extended period of time. Parents worry about many things for their new kindergartener: whether they will they be homesick, have accidents, survive without that afternoon nap they used to take, get too hungry…and, quite often, whether or not they will make friends.

 

Everyone wants to know their child will go to kindergarten and make friends. Fortunately, helping your child make friends in kindergarten is simple!

 

Read on for 6 ways to help your child make friends at school.

 

Teach Greetings

 

Being able to greet peers is an important step to making friends. Even toddlers can be taught to shake hands, maintain eye contact, and say hello warmly.

 

Foster opportunities for your child to greet others, at Church, at the park, or other social situations before they start school. If children are confident in meeting and greeting people, they will be well on their way to making friends at school.

 

For extremely shy children, just model and practice greetings in a pretend setting at home–don’t push or force them to greet others, or they are more likely to shutdown and develop anxiety about meeting people.

 

Encourage Using Words

 

Often when students struggle when interacting with their peers in kindergarten it simply stems from being unaware of how to communicate. Children have to practice using their words to solve their problems or they will lash out in other ways.

 

Model “when you…. I feel….” statements, which will help your child take charge of expressing their emotions in a constructive way.

 

Teaching your child to name their emotions and communicate their problems when they are younger will assist them in kindergarten and beyond.

 

Resist the Urge to Solve Their Problems

 

We live in a busy world where we rush our families from one activity to another. As parents, we have a million things to do in a day, and we sometimes forget to stop and take the time to allow our children to struggle.

 

It’s easier and simpler to jump in and solve a problem for a child. If they spill their juice, we know we can clean it up faster. If they need to change clothes, it’s easier for us to assist then to watch them take ten minutes to put on a pair of socks.

 

Unfortunately, when we rob children of the chance to solve their own problems, we are setting them up for failure when they go to school. Instead of jumping in and solving every problem for your child, allow them to think and solve their own problems.

 

This will pay dividends when they go to school and try to make friends; children that can problem solve can resolve conflict much better than those who have never figured out their own solutions.

 

Practice Management Techniques for Anger

 

Many children are impulsive and react poorly to anger. This can cause a struggle with forming friendships and dealing with conflict. These children need to learn strategies to manage their anger in a healthy way.

 

Taking deep breaths, counting to 10, remembering a happy time, or drawing a picture are great healthy ways to channel anger. Model these techniques and practice them with your child before they start school.

 

When children can manage their anger in a productive way before kindergarten, they will have a much easier time making and keeping friends.

 

Emphasize Waiting Your Turn Instead of Sharing

 

Sharing is a hard skill for children to learn, and one we often emphasize. While it is a great habit to teach your child, too often ‘sharing’ becomes code for “I want what someone else has and they need to give it to me.”

 

This inevitably leads to conflict. We sometimes turn to setting a timer for toys and trying to make everything fair. The problem is that it isn’t really fair to take away a toy from one child just because someone else decided they want it.

 

Children in this situation aren’t learning patience or acceptance…they are only learning that they can get what they want.

 

When children have not been taught to wait their turn, they will frequently tattle to the teacher, saying “She won’t share!” This breeds resentment among the students and is not a good way to make and keep friends.

 

Instead, I teach my students to ask “Can I have it when you are done?” This allows for taking turns without an adult monitoring, and without taking toys away from each other. It strengthens social skills, patience, and independence, which are all important skills when making friends in school.

 

Embrace the Power of Play

 

All of the tips above are great ways to increase social skills and set your child up for success making friends at school, especially if they are struggling. However, the best thing you can do to help your child make friends at school is to embrace the power of play and let the kids do their own thing.

 

Recently at recess, one of my students was standing beside me when a friend from another class ran up to her.

 

“Hey! I have that shirt at home!” said the other friend.

 

“Oh cool!” said my student, “Let’s be best friends!”

 

They then ran off and played together for the rest of recess. For most children, making friends during playtime is that easy–the more hands-off adults are in the process, the better.

 

Create chances for your child to engage in free-play with other children and watch–you might be surprised at just how good they are at making friends!  

 

 

 

 

Posted on: October 11, 2018, by : admin