This morning I played with Baby R as usual, tickling him and enjoying his belly laughs, watching him reach out for his toys and explore his environment…if I told someone that I stopped my 4-month-old from doing these things to get him to practice spelling words or write a sentence, they would think I was crazy.

Yet, flash forward to 4 years, and that is normal. Somewhere along those 4 short years, we have decided that play changes from developmentally important to just a break from learning. At what age does that happen?

A friend of mine recently started looking for a preschool for her 3-year-old son. She asked me my opinion and I recommended some Montessori schools nearby with good reputations. She wrinkled her nose at the word ‘Montessori.’

“But don’t they just let the kids choose what they want to do?” She asked.

I explained that Montessori schools are child-led so yes, the children choose their activities.

“Well, they aren’t going to choose what they do when they go to kindergarten. He has to learn to follow instructions.”

I am not one to judge a friend on how she raises her child, so I didn’t push the subject. If I had, I would have pointed out that at home her son chooses his activities all the time…she never assigns him what to do, and yet he is a wonderfully behaved child.

I would have noted that there are plenty of instances in her child’s life already that have taught him how to follow instructions.

I would have mentioned that kindergarten should be a transition into school, not something you need to prepare for.

I would have asked her why 3 years old or 4 years old is suddenly the time they should learn to stick to a strict schedule rather than 5 or 6, or even later.

My friend isn’t to blame here…she is just a good mom trying to do the right thing for her child. Unfortunately, society is constantly pushing early reading, kindergarten readiness, and preschool academics.

We are pressuring parents into drilling letters, sounds, and counting in a misguided attempt to set children up to be model citizens somewhere down the road.

The problem with that is it goes against child development, nature, and evidence. Exploring through play is vital to children, not just in infancy but in years beyond.

3-5-year-old children aren’t meant to be sitting still and working on rote memorization, reading, or writing. In more academically successful countries, formal education doesn’t start until age 7! So why have we decided that “good” preschools force literacy skills and corporate education models instead of freedom and exploration? Is that any more reasonable than asking my 4-month-old to stop playing and start “learning?”

I have witnessed so many wonderful discoveries through play in children aged 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8. I am sure if I worked with older children I would find it there as well.

While we continue to insist that young children should be reading, writing, and following strict schedules, we are creating an outcome opposite of the goal.

Through play, children learn critical thinking, problem-solving, decision making, cooperation…important skills that will benefit them much more in the long run more than pushing early academic skills.

If we want our kids to be model citizens eventually, let’s keep letting them play. Let’s stop saying 3 or 4 is too old to play all day. Let’s look at play as necessary work. And most importantly, let’s let them be kids for a little bit longer.

Posted on: July 30, 2018, by : admin